I Am Now Going to Offend A Large Number Of People

Because I am going to write in generalities. Something that I know is wrong, but quite honestly, after reading this article I simply can NOT help it. (I know this does not apply to all parents - even parents who hire help... but this article cries out for fisking... and I'm betting this becomes a trend making parents who can't afford such things feel as if they're shortchanging their kids)

When Meredith White was expecting her first son, nothing terrified her quite like a visit to Babies "R" Us. Aisle after dizzying aisle of baby paraphernalia beckoned, with dozens of varieties of bottles, nipples, wipes (and their warmers), pacifiers, cribs, strollers, and bibs. She did not want to buy anything without first assessing safety, usefulness, and developmental appropriateness. The analysis led the 34-year-old lawyer to a state verging on despair.

I'm sorry, but if you are going to be a parent, and you can't even figure out what basics to get for the baby before it hatches, you haven't got a chance in hell of getting through childhood. 

You get 9 months - NINE entire months to buy out the stores before your first kid(s) come out kicking and screaming.  After that you're gonna have to make decisions quick - without the luxury of consultation time. 

Cue the Baby Coordinators, the latest entry in the burgeoning "baby planning" field that helps expectant parents prepare for a new baby by advising on everything from the most absorbent diapers and sleekest strollers to decorating a nursery and readying a pet.

Perfection seems to be the goal here.  And anyone who has raised children knows that it is impossible to have perfection in child rearing.  If you think you can do it - you set yourself and your child up for major failure.  There is no "perfect" with kids. None.  Every family has to figure out what works best for them.  There are no perfect products.  There will be good and bad, expensive and cheap, successes and failures. Most of all there is LUCK.  Luck for the parent and for the kid. Babies need food, clothing, shelter, and snuggling.  Everything else is fluff. 

"Being someone who hasn't really been around babies or kid products, I just didn't know what to choose," Carines said, whose family is in South Carolina. "I was overwhelmed by the little things - which toys to buy, which are developmentally helpful."

OMG - so instead of trying to figure it out, she hires someone to tell her how to do it! Instead of giving it a shot and maybe making a *gasp* mistake! she farms out the responsibility.  What is she going to do when her kid gets to be 2 years old and is defiant?  Hire someone else to come in and tell her how to say "NO"?  (I also hate to tell her that no matter how many "developmentally" wonderful toys she buys, they will very likely remain untouched as the kid goes after the box instead)

If you are a parent, you WILL make mistakes.  All parents make mistakes... ALL.OF.THEM.  Usually at the worst possible times.  Kids even learn from their parent's mistakes.  They find out life isn't perfect or fair.  They learn to adapt to situations that aren't quite right and they even thrive.  Amazing.

It's hard to raise a child.  Going to someone else and saying that you need help so everything will be as "perfect as possible" does not make things easier.  It's like cheating on a test in school.  You may get 100% on that test, but later, when you need those things you didn't learn, that's when you'll really fail.  And it will be spectacular.  Sadly, the one who will end up on the short end of that stick will be the kid. 

Posted by: Teresa in Current Affairs at 10:16 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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