This post will remain at the top until the end of day on September 11th, scroll down for other posts of the day.

It's difficult to write about someone you've never met. How do you find the words? You must make assumptions based on what you read and hope they are right. Yet this is the task each blogger faces as we honor the the 2996, the lives cut short on September 11, 2001.

Look in the extended entry and celebrate the life of Carol K. Demitz, I hope I've done her justice. I would like all of you to meet Carol Keyes Demitz

I like that picture, she was a beautiful woman. For some reason the picture makes me think she was just about to burst out laughing, as if she is containing herself and projecting her happiness with just a smile. (however, it's more likely she's like all of us, trying to look our best for a picture and hoping it turns out well)

Most of the links I found, pointed to articles that were all very similar in content about her life, so I chose this one as it was written by Susan Garcia, one of her co-workers.

Carol K. Demitz was senior vice president, chief corporate counsel and secretary of Fiduciary Trust International Company. She had been with the company for 14 years. Carol was born October 17, 1951, in Portsmouth, VA. Her family settled in St. Louis, where she graduated from the University of Missouri. She received a J.D. degree from New York University School of Law in June 1977.

On reading the opening sentence, my first thought was "Wow, what an accomplished woman". You don't become a Senior VP in any company without quite a lot of work. That's very impressive.

The next thing I noticed is that she grew up in the St. Louis area, as did I. Now I feel as if I've lost one of my own. She was a neighbor, a friend of a friend, somewhere there is a connection in the sense of the six degrees of separation.

Carol supported legal aid work, and loved hiking, traveling and playing with her daughter. She is survived by her husband, Fred Brewer, their daughter, Anne, her brothers, Woody, Charlie and Michael Demitz, and her sister, Susan Demitz.

She was not all work and no play. There were vacations and play time. Plus giving a bit of her time to those who needed a helping hand legally, something that would be vastly different from her own job.

Carol provided the right combination of supervision and free rein to practice law. We'll miss having her wealth of knowledge about Fiduciary and her practical advice. We'll miss the jokes and the laughter we shared, the department lunches and celebrations. We'll miss the Diet Pepsi's in the department's refrigerator and the Sales & Bargain Report she distributed faithfully each month.

As we all know, it's the little things people remember most about us. The big things seem to slide. It's the habits, the jokes, even our somewhat irritating traits that will be recalled later and our friends will miss these things the most.

We'll miss the shared conversations about law school, city life and raising children, and stories of nannies and nursery schools, first haircuts and first shoes. Most of all we'll miss, but always remember with respect and affection, her friendship and who she was.

Conversations about life. They aren't profound, they are the way we reach out to others and connect. I can see her now saying, "Do you know what Annie did last night...".

Carol's husband has been low profile, I did find an article with some of his remembrance comments about his wife

When Carol Demitz got home from Fiduciary Trust, where she was the chief corporate lawyer, she did not reach for a martini. She went directly to play with Annie, her 4-year-old. "I could tell what room the girls were in by the squealing and laughter," said Fred Brewer, her husband. "Carol would be playing hide-and-seek. Carol was thin and could squeeze herself into the most amazing little cubbyholes. You could hear Annie squealing when she found her."

Ms. Demitz, 49, was thrilled with motherhood. She pored over catalogs of children's clothes and bought a dollhouse with a fireplace that crackled and birds that chirped from the windows. "She was so enamored of that doll house," Mr. Brewer said, referring to his wife, not his daughter. She had long loved vacationing in Switzerland among the green valleys and vast peaks of Mount Eiger. Last summer, her pleasure there was heightened by Annie, who was old enough to do a bit of mountain hiking. She felt the same way about the weathered house on a stretch of beachfront on Long Island's North Fork that they bought last spring. "She loved taking Annie there," Mr. Brewer said. "It gave her life balance."

A husband who enjoyed listening to his wife and daughter having fun playing together. A mother who loved her daughter very much. And like all mothers who work, juggling to balance her work time and time with her family. From her husband's comments, it sounds like they had managed to combine these things successfully.

From Legacy.com we have old friends posting memories of time spent together.

From Doug Wilkerson:

We are left with memories. What stands out are hot summer afternoons spent spitting watermelon seeds from our third floor porch to the trash cans below, scoring points for distance and accuracy, working nights at Trading Times with Carla, and wasted time trying to convince Carol that my dog K.C. was indeed a good dog. I also never understood how anyone could put a hot dog on a fork, hold it under the hot water tap and consider it well done.

From Eileen Pheiffer:

...After her mother's death, she became the maternal figure in the life of her deaf younger brother. She was wonderfully loving in that relationship....

From Viki Noe Chikow:

...I'm also sure that you laughed your head off at me last year at the memorial service at Holy Name Cathedral. In the midst of my grief, you obviously planted the memory of the Hairy Legs Contest in my mind. Don't worry - you got my attention....

From Nancy Keane:

It seems so silly now to think that we worried about what to wear to the office retreat. It's so hard when I have to re-read your emails, because I still hear your voice. Our friendship ended too soon--I miss your laughter.

A woman with a full life. Yes, I do wish I could have met her. I think we might have been friends. I hope her husband and daughter are well. I hope they are not being inundated with calls from the press that they do not want or need. I hope for them both that they are finding light and life and happiness.

Posted by: Teresa in Life Stuff at 06:59 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 1163 words, total size 7 kb.

1 You did a great job Teresa. Very much so.

Posted by: Tammi at September 10, 2006 06:37 PM (8X052)

2 Lovely tribute. Just lovely.

Posted by: Richmond at September 10, 2006 11:47 PM (e8QFP)

3 Very moving tribute.

Posted by: Allan at September 11, 2006 07:06 AM (AvjIr)

4 Thank you for a wonderful tribute. You made her so real...I wish God's blessing on her family.

I have a tribute also.

Posted by: Mrs_Who at September 11, 2006 11:50 AM (xN5zQ)

5 I think she looks like you! It is uncanny. and what a great tribute.

Posted by: Bou at September 11, 2006 04:39 PM (iHxT3)

6 Nothing came up when I clicked on extended-entry link.

Posted by: Sissy Willis at September 12, 2006 02:19 AM (FU1id)

7 This just in: I got to it by clicking Permalink. Now'll I'll go read it.

Posted by: Sissy Willis at September 12, 2006 02:20 AM (FU1id)

8 A wonderful, heart-felt tribute. You made her come alive.

Posted by: Sissy Willis at September 12, 2006 02:37 AM (FU1id)

9 Good work on your tribute! In Mine to Gregory Joseph Buck, I recommended that uniformed first responders be entitled to military medals for bravery, if they are responding to an act of warfare. What do you think? skip@wordsmatter.tv

Posted by: Skip Conover at September 12, 2006 06:40 AM (J1Q/b)

10 Moving and touching tribute, well done. Thank you.

What talented people perished that day.

I linked your tribute at 2996 tribute to victims of 9/11 - Terrence E Adderley

Posted by: bernie at September 12, 2006 07:56 PM (xcpbx)

11

She sounds like a really wonderful woman - thank you for honoring her so well, T. 

Posted by: Mirm at September 11, 2009 09:58 AM (swoBe)

12 I did know Carol, dated her sister Susan, spent a christmas in St Louis with them. Funniest thing she ever said to me is," I don't whine, do I" and yes she was. It was way before she married Fred. The kindest thing was the way she was around Susan's twin brother., Mike. Carol showed my the first signing to talk to Mike. I never met Woody, but did the rest. I've not talk to any of them after 9/11, but my heart goes out to all of them. And all that lost folks that day. I knew two others that died that day Don't know if anyone knows it, but after first attack on twin towers, Carol became a volunteer for safety for her floor. Most likely she died helping others. That gives me some comfort. And yes, she would have done so. Thanks for this site, It helps letting me say good-bye to Carol . Ric Hogan

Posted by: Ric Hogan at November 19, 2009 05:27 AM (wT39g)

13 PS The best picture of Carol is one taken of her basking in the sun, on a cold day in spring. It shows her sprit. I think it was in the papers but know her younger sister has a copy

Posted by: Ric Hogan at November 19, 2009 05:41 AM (wT39g)

14 Ric - my condolences.  I'm so glad you've given the rest of us a little peak at her life.  She sounds like she was a terrific person.  May you always remember the good times.  

Posted by: Teresa at November 19, 2009 08:24 PM (ZCuP9)

15

Hi

When I am reminded of September 11 I think of Carol Demitz who I got to meet in 1994. I live in Australia and in 1994 worked for an Australian investment management firm Armstrong Jones. My job was to help work through an outsourcing contract with Fiduciary so spent several late nights on the phone with Carol who at that stage I hadn't met. I met her at Fiduciary's offices in the world trade centre later that year and she was delightful.

 

Posted by: Stephen Langsford at September 05, 2011 01:34 AM (3EPIb)

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